i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
They took my balls.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize