I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
