Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
