dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
