You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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