Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
