saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize