i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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