im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize