this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
