Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
