remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
