my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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