Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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