He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
