Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize