Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
