Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
