the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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