It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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