So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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