It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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