allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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