my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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