Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
