your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
