i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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