Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
