Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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