please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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