If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
