So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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