My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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