He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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