Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's never too late to be topless.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
