He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
