Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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