Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
