Need sex. Gaining weight.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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