its not stalking. its research.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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