I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
