Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
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My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
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I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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