im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
