so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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