Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
