so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize