..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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