Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
