not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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