Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
