Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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