So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
