Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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