Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
