I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
