kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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