I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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