Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
