my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
