We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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