Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
