I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Everyone says I win the strip club
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
