That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
