I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
