i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
