We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
