How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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