I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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