I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
