I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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