we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So much rum. So many feels.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
